"I decided that I would have to finish this book, even though I knew at about the half-way point, I would have to dispose of it so that at least there would be one fewer copy on the face of the earth...The science is so weak as to be embarassing. More than embarassing, absolute garbage, even taking into account poetic license. To anyone who believes that this is a quality novel, or anything beyond toilet paper, all I can say is 'There are good scientific thrillers out there, these authors couldn't write one, even if they were copying one word-for-word.' "

Disgruntled amazon.com reader # 1

To which the authors say:

"Ouch! Don't get all hot and anxious about my poetic license, that was revoked last year. And by the way, there are two 'r's in 'embarrass.' "
                            -- Lincoln Child

"Not good science? Why, before writing RELIC, we did extensive scientific research on the worldwide problem of brain-eating monsters infesting museums. What more could you want?"
                            -- Douglas Preston

On RELIC (2)

"This book is TERRIBLE! The book is filled with boring characters, overused cliches, and ridiculous dialogue. The plot is far fetched and unrealistic. The ending is abrupt, unsurprising, and so stupid I would have returned the book had I not borrowed it in the first place. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY!!!!"

Disgruntled amazon.com reader #2

To which the authors say:

"Please do waste your money! How else am I going to keep up the payments on my Rolls?"
                            -- Douglas Preston

"In the future, please have the good taste to restrict your rants to books you've actually paid money for."
                            -- Lincoln Child